Update

I apologize for being missing in action the past few weeks.

In August, my sister and her boyfriend finally got married! They’ve been together for 9 years & have 3 kids together. I’m so happy for her. They’re great together. They’ve had their moments but what couple hasn’t?

She was a damn gorgeous bride!

I also went to a Foreigner/Night Ranger concert with my mom at the Iowa State Fair. Night Ranger has been my mom’s absolute favorite band since she was a teenager & she loves Jack Blade.

I was entranced by Foreginer. I had heard of them but I didn’t think I knew their music. I was very wrong. I knew every song they performed except for one. Now, I love the band. I noticed that I have a tendancy to lean towards British bands or bands with British musicians.

One of my closest friends in my town, Lynn, moved. I helped her back up her apartment and clean it before she left. I met Lynn when I worked at a gas station, my last job before I dove into freelance writing.

It sucks she moved out of town. She was one of the few friends around here that I would leave the house for.

A few weeks back, I went to an Iowa Cubs baseball game with my friends, Cami and Heaven. Cami also happens to be Lynn’s daughter.

It was nice to get out and interact with others. I know if I continue to push myself out of my comfort zone, we’ll become fantastic friends. They’re fantastic ladies.

As for work, I’ve been putting more effort into applying for writing gigs.

Rejection is hard. Somedays I feel like a failure. I have to remind myself I’m only getting rejected more because I’m trying more. I spent the last year focusing on my mental health. I still am. But I’m ready to focus on my career too.

I’m determind to have the career I’ve wanted since I was a teenager. I’m also determind to start writing poetry and fiction again. I’ve wanted to write a book since I wrote my first story in third grade. I want to be a horror writer and I’m ready to get started. Finally.

I’ve also been experminting with baking and cooking. I’ve been eating healthier and trying to walk a few times a week, when my pain’s not flaring up. I’m slowly losing weight. It’s annoying how slow but at least it’s something.

I’ve been trying to keep busy because at the beginning of August I felt a flood of depression taking me over.

There’s nothing that originally triggered it, it just came to be. Despite my fighting the depression, my mind is giving in.

To add fuel to the fire, the rejection has been getting to me. It makes me question my abilities and skills.

And lonliness can be added in with my depression. Ricky has been working for a carnival again this summer, like last summer. This means he’s gone a lot. Sometimes I get to see him for a few days every week or I don’t see him for a few weeks.

Normally, the job is just for the summer season. However, a new person bought the carnival so it’s going to last longer. Instead of just traveling around Iowa and Missouri, so Ricky’s on his way to Florida. They’ll be helping with tree clean up from the hurricane.

I’m hoping to fly down there for 2 weeks to spend time with him. I’ve never been on a plane, seen the ocean, or been to Florida. It’s where he grew up.

September 10th, 11th, 12th, and the day of the 13th I went to the town Ricky was working at to see him. The 13th was our 4 year anniversary.

We got to spend the night in a nice hotel and went to the Mexican Fiesta in town (where he was working at) for tacos and beer.

The 17th was my 31st birthday. It was a bittersweet day. Ricky and my dad showed up a little bit after midnight. Best birthday present ever.

We went to see It Ends. I think the new It moves are better than the old. I actually jumped a few times. I never jump because I’ve watched so many horror movies, I just know when there’s gonna be jump scares. But this movie actually made me jump.

I saw my new psychiatrist yeesterday. My first psychiatrist left the company. But my new doctor is amazing.

There was no judgement on anything. I didn’t feel embarrassed about any of the more personal symptoms. He made sure I felt comfortable right away. Of course, it’s telemed so I talk to him through a tv screen.

He says I’ve been undertreated for years. So last night I took my first ever dose of lithium. I have to go in and do some blood work before my next appointment. He said next appointment he’ll be increasing my Wellbutrin.

He gave me a choice between 2 medications to try for bipolar disorder. And I know lithium helps a few of you and a few loved ones. I can’t remember but there’s another medication he brought up but I can’t take it because I have PCOS.

That’s pretty much what’s been going on. I have tons of articles to catch up on and next week I should be back to at least join in on some writing prompts.

You’re all awesome.

 

 

 

 

 

13 thoughts on “Update”

  1. Wow, that’s a lot going on! That’s great that the new doctor is so proactive. I’m guessing it was valproic acid that was kiboshed because of the PCOS. I hope the lithium goes well! I had stomach upset when I first started lithium, but that went away on its own.

    It sucks that rejection is such an inherent part of writing. Knowing that it happens to everyone doesn’t make it any easier. I look forward to reading your first book when it’s born into the world!

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Wow! You have really been kept busy, and that’s awesome, Casey! I’m sorry about your friend moving out of your town, but did she move that far away?
    The concerts sounded like a blast! I would have loved seeing all of them myself.
    A far as your writing goes, I personally think you’re very talented. Just because some places are rejecting you, suld be a sign that better things are on their way for you. Just be patient.
    Happy to hear about the medication being adjusted, hopefully this will really help you. I hear pretty good things about lithium.
    I think all you goals of writing ventures sound exciting and I look forward to reading more form you!!!
    It was fantastic hearing form you, Casey!!! 🤗😘

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you so much, Beckie! ❤ She moved about an hour away but I don't have a car at the moment. This is the longest I haven't had a car since I was like 20. It drives me nuts! I've heard good things about lithium too but I've also heard about some bad side effects like losing hair & weight gain. So far, I just get a stomach ache if I don't eat before I take it. I'm currently trying to lose weight. But I've cut soda out of my diet 3 days now. It suckss.

      Liked by 1 person

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