Trapped by Social Anxiety

I’ve always struggled with anxiety. For as long as I can remember, anxiety has ruled my life and it’s controlled my inner dialogue. My anxious thoughts remind me I’m inferior and they convince me everyone is judging me.

Anxiety decides I need to try on 50 outfits before I head out the door. Anxiety decides I won’t be able to join conversations out of fear. Anxiety tells me it’s safer inside. Anxiety is always lying to me.

I’m stoned face on the outside, heart pounding, and pulse racing on the inside. I get this strange sensation of choking on my own breath.

The past year and a half, my social anxiety has escalated. I’ve had every excuse in the book not to see friends or take a trip to the store. Checking Facebook messages is overwhelming.

I’ve stuck to the comfort of my bed and the internet.

My psychiatrist prescribed me buspirone. I’m meant to take it 3 times a day.  I did for the first month but I’d sleep all day long so I only take one before bed.

I’ve also developed some healthy coping mechanisms these past few months. I wrote about them in a post on my writer website, 8 Tips for Social Anxiety. If you’re interested, head over there and check it out. I hope it helps someone else struggling with anxiety because I know it’s been an on-going battle for me.

I also came across this article on the correlation between gut health and anxiety, If You Have Anxiety, a Study Says Taking Care of Your Gut Bacteria Might Help. Interesting stuff.

We have the strength to fight our anxiety. It’s not easy and even in recovery, we’re not cured. Gotta keep on keeping on.

 

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