According to Merriam-Webster, happy is defined as notably fitting, effective, or well adapted In the beginning, it's hard to tell the difference between genuine happiness and hypomania. I have issues deciphering between the two. So many times I've felt that I was happy but it turned out to be a hypomanic episode. So these past… Continue reading Happiness or Hypomania?
On the outside, I look lazy. I lie in my bed, too fatigued to move and too tired to concentrate. On the outside, I look lazy. I'm curled up in my blanket like it's my cocoon. I've fallen down the YouTube rabbit hole because it's the only thing that boosts my dopamine and serotonin. I've… Continue reading On the Outside I Look Lazy
I can see clearer than I ever have before. The colors brighten and I'm not up, down, up, down, up, down. It was as if there was this gray haze over my life while depressed and lithium has brought the beauty of colors back. I can see what I want and what I need to… Continue reading Politics and Lithium
It's week 7 of Beckie's Working On Us Writing Prompt! It's another week to help break the stigma on those with any mental illness or disorder. This week's topic is suicide. Prompt #1 Have you ever experienced suicidal thoughts? I've had suicidal thoughts since the age of 11. Your brain tells you that you're worthless,… Continue reading Working On Us Week #7
My lovely loyal readers, I would love you opinions on a few things. First, I'm considering moving any articles I've written about mental health on my writer blog over to this blog. And then turning that blog into a blog about freelance writing. This blog would have both informational articles & my experiences. What do… Continue reading Opinions?
I wake up from apocalyptic dreams, my body twisted in the blankets. I'm not scared because this is the 5th end-of-the-world dream I've had since Christmas. Each dream plays out a different scenario. In one dream, we're in the middle of a nuclear war. In another dream, there's lava spilling onto streets. I've had anxiety… Continue reading Anxiety Dreaming
Validation. Awareness. Relief. Freeing. When my therapist used the words childhood trauma while we were discussing my life growing up, all these strong validating emotions flood over me. The word trauma. That frightening word. I didn’t go through foster homes. I wasn’t physically or sexually abused. So, I minimized my trauma from growing up in… Continue reading The Big Words: Childhood Trauma
One of my biggest inner struggles with bipolar disorder is fighting the urge to blame myself for every outside conflict with others. How the hell am I suppose to know whether my angry outburst was valid or if I was overreacting because my brain is at war? It stems from the overused phrases used all… Continue reading Placing Blame and Assigning Guilt